Happy Thanksgiving! Here are some jokes and sayings collections by Hebeos Blog  that will make you thankful you have a funny bone. Do you know a funny joke and sayings?

Teacher: “What did the Indians bring to the first Thanksgiving?”
Student: “Baseballs.”
Teacher: “Baseballs?”
Student: “Yeah, they were Cleveland Indians!”

Josh: Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field?
Phil: Why?
Josh: He wanted to raise mashed potatoes.

Pedro: What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?
Ordep: What?
Pedro: “Quack! Quack!”

Gobbler said, “Doctor, help me! I can’t stop acting like a turkey!”
“I see,” said the doctor. “How long have you had this problem?”
“Let me think a second. Mom laid the egg in 1954…”

Luke: What did the turkey say to the computer?
Will: What?
Luke: “Google, google, google.”

Teacher: “Where did the Pilgrims come from?”
Student: “Their parents, of course!””You know an ancestor of mine came over on the Mayflower.”
“Really? Which rat was he?”

Caleb: What key has legs and can’t open doors?
Caitlyn: What?
Caleb: A turkey.

Leighton: What sound does a limping turkey make?
Zach: I give up!
Leighton: “Wobble, wobble!”

Justin: Which November holiday is Dracula’s favorite?
Jay: Which one?
Justin: Fangs-giving!

Chas: What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?
Tom: What kind?
Chas: Plymouth Rock!

Sister: Mom wants your to help us fix Thanksgiving dinner.
Brother: Why? Is it broken?

Phillips: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
Brooks: If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!

“Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.” – Ambrose Bierce

“Gratitude is a quality similar to electricity: it must be produced and discharged and used up in order to exist at all.” –William Faulkner

“An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.” – Irv Kupcine

“Thanksgiving was never meant to be shut up in a single day.” –Robert Caspar Lintner

“My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.” –Phyllis Diller

The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself. – Benjamin Franklin

The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts. No Americans have been more impoverished than these who, nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving. – H.U. Westermayer

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is. – Albert Einstein

A humble pie, a delicious turkey
And with you by my side
I feel the most lucky.
Thank You
~ Anonymous.